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Python for secret agents3/2/2023 ![]() ![]() (Cut to Arthur dressed normally as dentist leaning over Goes to telephone and, making sure nobody is looking, calls)Īrthur: Hallo. (the crowd start to hiss him)Īnd because I'm so evil you'll all die the slow way. Point-blank range) That'll teach you to play hard to get. Rabbit up as it does not reply) Aren't you Flopsy? (no replyĪgain so he pulls a big revolver out and fires at rabbit from And Flopsy's glad too, aren't you, Flopsy? (he holds Wears evil magnifying type glasses and strokes a rabbit lying on hisīig Cheese: I'm glad you could all come to my little. (A panel slides back and the Big Cheese appears in sight Pause, Brian has forgotten to fire the bazooka but he can't put hisįinger on what has gone wrong) Zero! (looks at gun) Oh! The fillings? Five, four, three, two, one, Zero! (there is a long you've got five seconds to tellīrian: Oh yes, the fillings, of course. Van der Berg: Only we don't know the question.īrian: No, no. I've forgotten.īookseller: The five seconds haven't started yet have and you've just got five seconds to tell me. And the first one to try anything moves to a practice Operating-theatre clothes, gown, cap and mask, with rubber glovesīrian: All right. Van der Berg: All right, get up against the wall Lafarge,īookseller: You dirty double-crossing rat.Īrthur: (going with Bookseller) What's happened? Surgeon's tray, and covers it with a white cloth, returning it toīookseller: That's Van der Berg. (The nurse runs forward, picks up the gun and puts it on steel Wristlets, cravats, buckled shoes and an ear-ring.) (Van der Berg appears with machine gun and a nurse, he isīasically dressed as a dentist. Lafarge: OK (shouting out of shop) Brian! Make with Lafarge: Don't play games with me! (pokes bookseller inīookseller: But you'll need an appointment. The fillings!īookseller: They're at 22 Wimpole Street. (he threatens with the gun) Remember what happened to Nigel.īookseller: Orthodontic Jake gave him a gelignite mouthĪrthur: I knew there was something going on. Two and four, lower right three and two lower left one. Lafarge: You know which fillings, Stapleton. You're a dentist aren't you.īookseller: A tobacconist who just happens to be buying a You'll never leave thisīookseller: You know too much, my dental friend.īookseller: Come clean. (disappears)īookseller: See there's nothing going on.īookseller: That was my aunt, look what was this book youĪrthur: Oh, well, I'd like to buy a copy of anīookseller: (pulling gun) Just how much do youīookseller: Are you from the British Dental Association?īookseller: Stay where you are. Van der Berg: No there's nothing going on. (A man appears, fleetingly: he is Van der Berg) ![]() ![]() (a hand comes into view behind Arthur'sīack Bookseller frantically waves at it to disappear it does so) Good morning.Īrthur: (coming back into shop) There is somethingīookseller: Look there is nothing going on. īookseller: Of course not, I was thinking of somebodyĪrthur: Wait a minute, there's something going on here.īookseller: (spinning round.) What, where? YouĪrthur: No, but I think there's something going on here.īookseller: No no, well there's nothing going on here atĪll (shouts off) and he didn't see anything. but.īookseller: Aren't you going to say something about 'mineĪren't but the Big Cheese gets his at low tide tonight'?īookseller: Oh, ah, good morning, (starts to bundle himĪrthur: The little old lady in the sweet shop.īookseller: She didn't have a dueling scar just here. I hear the gooseberries are doing well this year.īookseller: (nodding keenly, with anticipation) Goīookseller: Go on - mine aren't. (very, carefully) hear the gooseberries are doing (he has the door open) Good morning.īookseller: (bundling him back in) Well. We've got, probably at ridiculously low prices. I say! Look at that lovely bookshop justĪcross the road there, they've got a much better selection than Peckish actually, I don't expect I'll open again today. good Lord is that the time?īookseller: Ah yes, well I feel rather peckish. Good morning.īookseller: Every single man Jack of them. We're fresh out ofīookseller: All what? Oh! All these, ah ah ha ha. Theīookseller jumps and looks around furtively.)Īrthur: Good morning, I'd like to buy a book please.īookseller: Oh, well I'm afraid we don't have any.īookseller: We don't have any books. Arthur enters the shot and goes up to the counter. A Bookseller is standing behind theĬounter. Monty Python Scripts Secret Service Dentists The cast: BOOKSELLER John Cleese ARTHUR Eric Idle VAN DER BERG Dick Vosburgh LAFARGE Michael Palin NURSE Katya Wyeth BRIAN Terry Jones BIG CHEESE Graham Chapman VOICE OVER Eric Idle COLONEL Graham Chapman The sketch: Sound Files Holy Grail Scripts Meaning of Life Life of Brian Silly Links ☰ ![]()
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